Monday, January 4, 2010
i never meant to start a war.you know i never want to hurt you.don't even know what we're fighting for.why does love always feel like a battlefield?better go get your armour.
Stuffs I painted @ 10:26 PM
Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010 started off terribly. horribly. nastily for me.i think i am a deluded soul- always believing in the best of people, until they take advantage of my compassion and patience and turn back around to push me into the pit of despair. a pit of pissed-off-ness, really. if it's not selfish people who only care about their own interests (oh, never mind me, i just have to move mountains to my own inconvenience to appease you), but stupid boys with warped minds.think i'm harsh to label? sorry, hon, someone wise taught me the world's a cruel place to live in.i am normally a very patient person. i don't have a short fuse- glad i take after my father. but when one steps onto my red danger zone, i lash out- that's after my mother.of course, not to worry, what you see is what you get. i could yell obscenities, if you're unlucky. minimal violence inflicted would be a slap or a punch, not serious enough to cause an injury. or i ball my fist up in a silent struggle. or i frown deeply. mostly, i let all my anger out, all my raw emotions- so much so that i have nothing to hide.and it's bloody scary isn't it? when you meet someone who is the total opposite of me. my mother warned me of quiet, reserved, aloof people, "pauline you never know what's their other side, what they're thinking about." the unknown. the very depths of the soul yet to be penetrated. like a misty fog, or a mask to fool people.so when i lash out, i am mad, naturally. it's normal.and if you knew my situation, i wouldn't blame you for having the same reaction.to summarise: 6 people pissed me off in the past 2 days.a selfish, cold hearted one.a freaking vulgar one.and four pervs.do i look like i'm some walking sex bomb ready to tick off and explode?my mother hissed at me after a train ride home, telling me that 3 guys in front of me holding the pole "feasted on my chest".if looks could kill, my mother delivered that effortlessly.fcuk. and all i did was stand in front of them, listening to my music.and what kind of friend offends my sexuality too? that's right. what friend indeed.boy, why you so obsessed with me?...finally found a girl you couldn't impresslast man on the earthstill couldn't get this.you're delusionalyou're delusionalboy you're losing your mind.am i tormenting and taunting you?that's the goal i want to achieve, hon.next time, don't try to get into my pants.or you'll get scalded in my hot steam.on a happier note, two boys with gracious manners showed respect to me. i feel comforted to know. thanks aaron and zhan hao (:
Stuffs I painted @ 6:14 PM
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2010 new year resolutions:1. be more daring and take initiative.2. control my temper- already accomplished, actually! :D3. be more selfless, respectful and understanding to those around me.4. tamp down my materialism.5. be more independent and responsible.6. to stop getting entangled in messy relationships. therefore, staying away from annoying boys.7. be more athletic- build up muscles!8. help the less fortunate in every way i can.that's it for now.amazing. two very vulgar boys pissed me off on new years eve.
Stuffs I painted @ 7:45 PM
29 DECmy mom had 2 complimentary free passes to amore gym, so i invited grace along.first class, 11 am, pilates.i thought pilates was a bit more relaxing (we had that class back at school) but turns out, it was harder than i thought it would be!i always have to keep in mind when to breathe, the right time to exhale (when executing the movements) and suck in my stomach, making my navel move close to my spine.my treacharous back refused to meet with the mat. so i was slightly arched, and the trainer have to keep pressing me downwards.we had to curl like a ball and push ourselves up without the use of hands- only abs.and damn, did my abs hurt. my mom was grunting and whining and grace was trembling. i started to laugh a bit, causing myself to lose balance and roll over to the wrong side.lucky the trainer was patient.and yes, i was drenched with sweat.at noon, my mom treated us for lunch at Phin's.waiting for food to digest (mom went ahead to meet up with her personal trainer), grace and i strolled along to buy some stuff before heading back to the gym for sauna.we wrapped ourselves in towels and entered the blue-tiled smoky room. at 43 degrees, it was pretty hot, so i lowered it to 40.grace: are you sure that's the coldest?? can you lower it further?me: nope. 40's the minimum.my calves were stinging with the heat (because the heaters were located at the bottom of the benches) and we were very wet, not much of sweat, but water vapour condensing.grace and i just talked and laughed until the timer stopped. we then went to the pool to dip.water was freezing cold by the way. i was moaning and clinging to the metal bars, afraid to let go. grace nudged me in.swam for about 30 minutes (played with the floats!!) before drying off for aerobics.aerobics is more strenuous than pilates!! arh. it's like ACES workout, except more exerting and much more faster.we learnt kick punches, galloping, even some cha cha moves. and swaying of hips xDgrace was struggling- "i don't like this! so fast!"the trainer is very toned. she has muscles bulging out of her tanned forearms. she cheographed the moves as the class "danced along" occasionally whooping with glee into her microphone chip thing.how on earth she can have a conversation ("how you're doing back there guys? c'mon! move your hips sexily! ladies, faster! show me what you got!") while doing aerobics in fast paced music (really fast paced) baffles me. most of the people were panting and trying to catch our breath.after that workout, we rested then went to the gym to try out the facilities. like the cycling machine, weight lifting- the usual gym equipment.bathed and ate snacks. i had a mango smoothie and didn't feel at guilty about it at all :)pictures uploaded on FB
30 DEC1. dropped library books.2. took the trash out for recycling.3. stopped by joe's house to pass butter cookies and chocolate cake as a new year present for his family.4. collect sec 3-4 history book from shahirah.i sorta over-stayed my welcome, but sha didn't mind :D i thought her how to read guitar chords and played a few taylor swift's songs so her sister could sing along.ate chocolate and played scrabble, so FUN!then again, i suck at scrabble. sha's sister can beat me.
Stuffs I painted @ 2:35 PM
24 DEC, Xmas evewent out to clarke quey in the late afternoon with my family to enjoy the scenery.there's the soft breeze, the trees that offer comforting shade (couples making out in their private alcoves. ahem!) sturdy built bridges, bungee jumping, ice cream carts and soft jazz music- and the occasional smell of expensive australian wine.my family ate at jumbo seafood restaurant and ordered the best chilli crabs ever served in town. i mean, singapore.took plenty of pictures- will upload them in facebook :Dit became dark and the hanging lights went on. bars and clubs opened their doors to welcome the party people.nightlife. joseph was absolutely right, of course. at night, that's where the fun begins. you've got throbbing music, intoxicating or classy drinks, mysterious strangers and careless horseshit that'll make you go crazy with delight.so i announced to my parents that i will go clubbing when i reached the right age. my mom didn't blanched- instead she replied, "when you have a stable job."my dad said, "when you're 40" and smiled at me mischieviously. so mean :( he was teasing, of course.we also went to orchard road- which was a HUGE mistake because the entire street was covered with throngs of people. you can't even move, but squirm along with the crowd.was stuffy, hot and upsetting. the dazzling lights and clicking of numerous cameras made me dizzy.my mom ushered us back to Wisma Atria and she bought herself bright purple Nike sports shoe.i love the shoe but i said, "Did you know that Nike brands exploit foreign workers overseas?"i think the salesman threw me a look of horror.sometimes, i gotta know when to shut up or i'll end up like khoon hwa, sprouting out knowledge whenever he feels like.25 DEC, Xmas.my tita Vilma came over for lunch.helped my dad grill beef steak and pork chops, MMmmm x) - see facebook photos.after that, watched "aliens in the attic". then, my brother's godparents came over. EJ and Ethan tagged along, so i switched on the xbox to let them play transformers.and i was stuck in the playroom with a bunch of Transformers fanatics. my sister included.i mean, it's nice and all, galactic robots that can transform into vehicles for deception, but ah, not my cup of tea. instead, i sat in one corner and dreamt about clothes, haha!in the late afternoon, my family headed to Mimi Rose's house for a party.their fruit salad is absolutely delicious.one of the guests, a teenage girl by the looks of it, got a PSP from her parents. i just stared at her numbly, wishing i'd get a PSP too!! no fair!!at night, we headed home for the opening of gifts!i had a Burberry perfume from tito Doods (thank you, now i have a personal scent!)a silver necklace from tita Vilma.an organiser from Camille.40 bucks from my parents.not a bad haul eh?xmas presents i gave:-adorable hello kitty metal case containing with yummy sweets for lynette plus friendship poster!a bag tag and DVDS for grace plus friendship poster!handmade all time low poster for my sisa bingo set for the whole family.we played bingo throughout the night, my brother shrieking everytime his number didn't get called.so i guess my whole family love the present :D28 DEC:the contracters came to my house to fix the ceiling. the wallpaper thing had come off. so two days of falling plaster and the annoying smell of paint and dirt.my mom allowed me to go out (escape!) so i had lunch with sha and grace!it was fun catching up since grace just arrived from america (having spent the entire christmas in a plane back to singapore- with babies wailing, disturbing her sleep)she showed me and sha photos: snowy wilderness, packed street, glossy department stores, exciting theme parks, green, high cliffs and even the interior of a Victorian castle on a hill!so cool, wished i had been there...ironically, i'm going to the US this june. then to canada, for good. sigh.we took plenty of photos - see facebook again! and went window shopping.<3
Stuffs I painted @ 1:56 PM
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
FB TEST TIME! 2+1THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:1. pauline (acquaintances, or friends)2. pau-pau (family)3. lyn (joe)THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:1. 15 july2. 25 Dec3. the day my o level results come out/the day i leave for america and canada. that's january and june something respectively.THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:1. pissed my mom off2. cleared memory space in my thumbdrive3. uploaded facebook photos!THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY :1. do a silly action2. eat a muffin3. go shoppingTHREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:1. white topshop loafers!2. cache black leather jacket3. lady gaga fame monster albumTHREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:1. posing for pictures2. painting3. singingTHREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:1. italy2. korea3. new zealand/spainTHREE FAVORITE DRINKS:1. honey/vanilla milk tea (bubble tea)2. milo3. avocado shake? i drink lots of things!THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR POCKET:1. rubber band2. clip3. a piece of crumpled paperTHREE FAVORITE COLORS:1. pink2. orange3. gold, actually i like all colours.TOP THREE U LOVE SO MUCH:all the Ms!1. Muffins2. Masquerade masks3. MusicTOP THREE WHO YOU THINK WILL ANSWER THIS SURVEY:1. shahirah2. cuthbert3. lynette/khoon hwa/guan zhong.TOP THREE "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:1. a pink rose- whoa, where did that come from?2. old family photos stashed away in albums3. people; family and friends.TOP THREE THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY LATELY:1. thinking my specs got stuck in my bra, and found out it didn't2. sha partly paid for my leopard print scarf3. chocolate muffin i ate in ikea!TOP THREE THAT MAKE YOU SAD:1. aching feet2. mom's ultra-clean attitude3. slow computers. actually not sad, very ANGRY!!TOP THREE REASONS WHY YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:1. looks cool.2. looks interesting.3. was cool and interesting?
Stuffs I painted @ 9:00 PM
Sunday, December 20, 2009
here's why i love LADY GAGA:watch 'bad romance': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0Iwatch "speechless": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRILEQhJqoo awesome isn't it?
Stuffs I painted @ 5:41 PM
Friday, December 18, 2009
today, friday, DEC 181. stuck at home, listening to my mom's nagging, wishing i was deaf.2. CAMILLE. YOU SURE BE HELL READING THIS, WHY AM I NOT GRANTED ACCESS TO VIEW YOUR BLOG???i will skin you alive. i don't care if it's christmas.
Stuffs I painted @ 7:24 PM
thursday- DEC 17watched Avatar with wen ya and pin cheng.initially, i thought it was some lame movie, but i tell you, it is KICK ASS AWESOME.the effects are good. and when the avatars ride their flying dragons, i feel like swooping down in a rollercoaster.it's 2 hours plus, so i was trying to hold in my pee, haha.it is breathtaking and also has an underlying message- to protect our environment.suddenly, i wanna be a tree hugger xD and throw stones at wrecking bulldozers.after that we went christmas shopping for presents (lynette, i bought yours!) and wenya bought a nice checkered skirt.zhan hao and cuthbert joined us and we headed to sunplaza park to rent bikes and cycle.we cycled all the way from tampines to pasir ris, near downtown east.it was fun! there were dropping slopes (we were yelling with glee- ok, maybe i was the only one...) and we crossed many traffic lights and bridges.we dismounted and pushed. cycling on the overhead bridge would fine $1000. i made sure no one forgot that, shouting at any stupid passing cyclist, "Sir, be prepared to pay $1000!" or "be a law-abiding citizen!"i am mad and loud sometimes.we took photos along the way (see facebook). we took random paths and ended up in a prawn fishing river and a playground.i practically jumped off my bike and ran straight first to the swing!!i love swinging. i'm an expert at it too. push forward, legs straighten. pull backwards, tuck in the legs....and you repeat the whole process. it also trains up your abs! :)wenya videoed me. and we all tried the see-saw too, trying hard to balance by practising Newton's law of forces and principles of moments. wahaha. the kids were looking at us like we were freaks with a deprived childhood.next, we found ourselves in a mangrove swamp (stinks), beach, near the chalets and a shipyard. my thighs ached.at nearly 7, i called it a day and took the train home with cuth and pc.
Stuffs I painted @ 6:35 PM
tuesday- DEC 15i had to go to the US embassy with my sis and dad to get a US visa.i sort of anticipated it would be a long wait, so i brought my ear piece (music!) and a book.well, turns out the whole process of waiting is very long, like 3 and a half hours! and i fell asleep at some point of time.haha.wednesday- DEC 16my bro got admitted to the hospital.shocker, i know >.<there was something wrong with him- he complained there was pain in-so my dad brought him to the clinic, but it called for more expertise. so they went to KK hospital.it's a testicle problem. yes, i am not joking. testicle.he was fine when he was discharged the next day (cried because he wanted to stay in the hospital to watch cartoons in his ward -.-)so i flipped through the doctor's report and found it was a cyst in his left er, testicle. biology students refer to as, scrotum.aka. balls.my mom told me such a condition is very serious (actually, not really) but i guess my parents were freaked that it may affect his fertility and prevent him from having children.you know, he's the only male child in the family to pass down the Anunciacion name.no pressure jayson.
Stuffs I painted @ 4:47 PM
